Knowing what you want isn't easy
by Biene
Summary: Continuation of the scene between Grace and Wayne at the end of "Like A Redheaded Stepchild"...GRIGSBY! Lame title, I know, any better suggestions?


A/N: Oh wow, what a great episode! Really amazing, it just begged me to write more... So without further ado, have fun reading!

I don't own Mentalist blablabla...

Wayne: „Hey."

Grace: „Hey. What happened today? Something with your Dad?"

Wayne: „Yeah."

Grace: „I was gonna make coffee. Shall we go to the shop down the street and talk about it?"

Wayne: „No. I'm fine. I'm better than fine actually. ... Wait, there's just one more thing. I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna be at your wedding."

Grace: „Oh... That's too bad. Something else planned that day?"

Wayne: „No. You see... The problem is... I'm still in love with you."

Grace: „We can't..."

Wayne: „Hold on. I'm not trying to win you back. You're marrying a good man. That's not gonna change. But neither am I. This whole thing where we pretend we're just friends... Doesn't work. I know it will work, but I know one thing: I can't watch you marry another man."

Grace: „No."

Wayne: „You have a good day... A good life."

Grace van Pelt was still rooted to the spot from Rigsby's soft kiss and the words she had just heard.

„I'm still in love with you."

She heard those words over and over again. Spoken with sincerity and matter-of-factly. How could she have been so blind? Why had she not seen that? She should have, she knew that, there was no excuse for not realizing Wayne's feelings.

Had she just chosen the easy way by ignoring what was obvious for anyone but her? No doubt, things would have been a lot more complicated if she'd been aware.

Well, it didn't matter anymore, what now mattered: What the hell was she supposed to do? What did she _want_ to do?

Pretend nothing had happened? Wayne had offered her this by saying he did not want to try to win her back...

Not marry and still stay with her fiancé? Could she do that?

Break up and take her chance with Wayne, damn the consequences?

If she was honest with herself, the time with Wayne had been the happiest in her life. He was so kind and gentle, so caring and loving, always prepared to do anything for her. Now he was even prepared to give her up so she could be happy... But would she really be? Knowing how Wayne suffered? Knowing they could have had a chance?

Tears formed in her eyes and she did not try to hold them back. A part of her wished that conversation away, to not know what had been revealed and to remain in ignorant bliss. Another part was thrilled to hear those words and told her Wayne actually was the one for her, that she had to take their chance and forget her fiancé or she would regret it.

Never before had she been torn apart so completely. Either way, she'd loose something very important, something she was not prepared to give up.

But how to measure what was more important? How to know the decision she made was the right one? She simply couldn't. Whatever she chose to do, she'd always take a huge risk.

Did she not owe loyalty to her fiancé? Sure, she did, what about her though? She needed to be honest with herself and her fiancé about how she felt and what she wanted, especially when things changed so much.

Confused as she was she needed someone to talk to, so her feet led her to Lisbon's office. No doubt she'd still be there. She wiped her eyes erasing the tear stains and taking a few deep breaths. After knocking she entered and saw that not only Lisbon was inside but Jane as well.

For Teresa one look was enough to tell her Grace wanted to talk to her and only her. Another glance at Jane and a „Jane, out" was enough to give them the needed privacy. She spoke quietly motioning to the sofa:

„Sit down, Grace"

The red-haired agent complied gladly and was joined by Lisbon who flopped down right next to her. She remained silent, just looked sympathetically at her. It took Grace a few moments before she said weakly:

„Wayne... He just told me he still loved me, but doesn't want us to get back together... "

Lisbon sighed. Hell, she had never been good with personal things, she just had to look at her own sad dating history.

„But he made you think about your choices?"

„Yes... I wasn't sure back then and I'm sure as hell don't know now. I was so happy with him, but I've also been happy with Craig and I'm engaged now... It's just so damned complicated!"

She looked at Lisbon, her eyes pleading the older woman to tell her what to do, even though both women knew it was only up to Grace.

„It sure is a dilemma... No matter what, you and one of the guys will get hurt. But that is a part of being human and you now need to decide with whom you'll be better off in the long shot, since you can't make any of them happy if you're not."

„True..."

„I'm pretty sure deep down you already have your answer, you just have to accept it and then act upon it. That's not to say that's easy..."

This time Grace sighed.

„You should take your own advice, you know?"

„I beg your pardon?" Lisbon did her best to look irritated what made her friend snort in disbelief.

„Jane... Need I say more?"

This time it was Lisbon's turn to sigh.

„We're both not ready for that yet. And this isn't about me, now it's about you and the mess you need to sort out."

„Yes, and you helped me as much as possible. I have to think about it... Thank you."

With those words she got up. Lisbon smiled warmly at her and said:

„You're welcome. Good luck and when you need me, call me, okay?"

„I will, thanks! Bye!"

A/N: So what do you think? Please, please review...


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